Listen to Your Father . . .

Father's Day is fast approaching. I know this because of the volume of advertising I hear on my radio show (about half the volume of Mother's Day, but that's a whole different blog). Also, I am a father. So I have been asked repeatedly by my kids if I can loan them some money. Just kidding. They don't ask repeatedly.They get their mom to do it. But shortly after Mother's Day the "one-who-must-be-pleased" will start random conversations with, "So, what do you want for Father's Day? Besides that, I mean?". And I always tell her the same thing . . . nothing.
And I mean it.

I'll bet your father/husband/grandfather/significant other says the same thing. And you know what? They mean it, too.I know. It's a big pain in the patootie. But you have to remember, before we dads became dads we were men. And when men need something (and by "need" I mean "want") we just buy it. That's how we roll.
So this year, I'm going to suggest you do something radical, nay, revolutionary. Unheard of. Unspeakable. Without precedent.
I'm going to suggest . . .  that you actually listen to your father. And get him nothing.
Now, hear me out.
I know you love your dad and want to show him how much he means to you. But part of accepting the role of father is knowing that there's a bit of "unsung hero" in the job description. And we're okay with that. We actually prefer to display all our dad superpowers, like vanquishing monsters from under the bed and turning sofa pillows into castles, quietly and far from the spotlight. So, moms get far more attention on Mother's Day? You think that happened by accident? All part of the plan.
Now, don't get me wrong. Dads like presents as much as the next guy who maybe isn't a dad. And I'm sure your dad has loved every single present you've ever given him. Except for that one tie. You know the one I mean. But dads are notorious for knowing the value of a dollar and how hard those dollars are to come by, especially these days. I remember when I was a kid asking my dad for a couple of bucks and having him look at me like I just demanded he surrender a kidney. In fact, an internal organ would have been more forthcoming than a twenty, trust me. But just because he was, shall we say, "fiscally conservative" doesn't mean he wasn't generous, to a fault. Christmas and birthdays? My siblings and I were treated like royalty.
Now, I know you're shaking your head as you read this but it's true . . .  your dad would rather you NOT spend your money on him. He would much rather you spend your time.
Yup, Dad just wants you to hang out with him on Father's Day. So let him decide how he wants to spend "his day" and then, just tag along. Sporty dad? Take him bowling or to a Tides game or racing at Langley Speedway. Movie-loving dad? "To Kill a Mockingbird", "Field of Dreams" and "Parenthood" are all great "dad" movies (but don't be surprised if he gets "something in his eye" while watching). Fishing, tennis, golf, antique cars, Star Wars collectibles, Civil War reenactor . . . whatever your dad is into, share it with him on Father's Day. Then, treat him to a nice meal (home cooked or at his favorite joint) and, this is critically important, pick up the tab. He'll probably tell you to "put your money away" and protest, but truth be told, it's a bit of an act. He'll appreciate the novelty of not having to pay, at least this one time a year.
So that's it, the secret to a perfect Father's Day. No expensive trinkets, no hoopla, no big "deal". Which is exactly what your dad, any dad, wants. And that goes for your baby daddy, too. I know, you just want to show your dad how much you love him.
Believe me, he already knows.
Because just by being a dad, we've been showered by our children with gifts beyond measure. The hugs and kisses of a "Daddy's home!" front door greeting. The sleepy whispered "I love you, Daddy" after bedtime stories. The catch in the backyard, the tea parties with Barbie, allowing us to be the big kid we know we still are inside, at least for a little while. Teaching them how to ride a bike, how to drive a car. Seeing the world again through their eyes as they grow, the wonder and the magic, along with the hurt and heartache we so desperately want to keep from them. And the pride in the kind and smart and interesting people they become as they set off on their own.
Every single moment, a treasure. Which for me, makes every day Father's Day.
"But I can't give my dad NOTHING!", you protest. And you're right. You can't.
Because if every time your dad thinks of you and what you've brought to his life, his world, he smiles . . . you've already given him everything he ever wanted.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have something in my eye.